Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
