if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
