Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
