Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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