i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
