So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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