You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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