erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
