So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
