hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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