I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
