I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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