they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize