so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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