party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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