How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
