I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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