Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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