last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
