You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
