Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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