I take back everything I said about communal showers
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
