i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My life is pants optional.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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