You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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