drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You're like the curious george of whores
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
