Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Randomize
