We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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