im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
