Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
