Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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