I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
What a dumb baby whore.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize