I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize