Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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