It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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