I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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