just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
