My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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