I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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