What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
