so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
im holly from the hills drunk
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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