Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize