you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
