Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
