im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
there was a trapeze. enough said
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
