So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
