If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize