i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
i now understand why vodka
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize