Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Damn victory sex feels great
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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