it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
