I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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