she peed on how many people?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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