careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
COCAINE IS GR8
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