Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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