The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
COCAINE IS GR8
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
