meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
