...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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