i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
