my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We need to get me chipped asap
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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