I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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