Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize